WOW! What a week!!

One of these days I hope to be able to write on my blog each day. But until then I will have to write a long blog to catch up on things.

This week began with one of the most difficult things I have had to do in a long time. I went to C's funeral at which I think I cried more than I did at my own son's funeral. Not that I knew C or know K and K very well but I do know that this will be the hardest thing they will ever go through. I know that it doesn't matter what anyone says, how much you know your baby is in heaven, or how many days pass you will always wonder why. But, I do have hope for them. It is the same hope that I have. It is in knowing that it is okay to wonder why, it is in knowing you will enjoy life again, and my treasures truly are stored up in heaven. I can't think about heaven w/o picturing Jesus holding the hand of my little Ethan. I know that it may seem like a long time from now but K and K (b/c they have the same faith I do) will see their life here on earth different and mostly they will see their son with the greatest of all Jesus.

This week also included the TAKS test. Which is an awful day in which we subject children to a stress I don't think they should deal with until later. It is also one of the most tiring days b/c I only had one student to test. As a teacher you are not allowed to do anything but actively monitor the student w/o looking at the test. Seriously, how hard is it to actively monitor one kid but I still can't do anything. So, it makes you so tired to do nothing all day long. Then there was the JBF sale which is overwhelming in itself b/c I try and get a good deal to help out the family financially. I enjoy getting a good deal on clothes for Noah but there is just so much stuff.

Later that night is when I found out that Brad had passed away and my heart just broke for Jenny and her family. We have been praying for Brad and Jenny for a very long time and will continue to lift that family up in prayer. I think Jenny is one of the most amazing women I have ever known. Her faith and strength have been a true testimony for me.

Wednesday we found out that we were going to attend the FWC Fundraising Dinner which I have not been to since I was in school there. It really was an enjoyable evening with good food and looking through old yearbooks. The funniest part of the evening was when they were giving away a Kindle 2. I would love to have a Kindle 2 (it is about the thickness of an ipod touch, the size of a book, and it holds 1500 books) and I was really really hoping I would win it. So, they began to announce the name "Brian and Sh". I so thought I was about to win it but they said Brian and Shirley. Even the people at my table thought I had won. Bummer=(

Saturday I went to the women's conference/retreat. It was really good and one statement stood out more than anything else I heard. She said "You have to decided how you feel about death so that you can live." AMEN TO THAT SISTER!!! That hit home with me b/c I have had to do that. After Ethan died I wanted to get pregnant but I did have to decided how I felt about death. I had to be okay that the next baby (Noah) might not make it so that I could live (by enjoy being pregnant no matter how long it lasted).

When I got home from the retreat I was looking forward to doing my BSF and enjoying my Dr. Pepper. After being home for 15 minutes Noah began throwing up. It lasted on and off until 3:00 am this morning. The saddest thing is now Noah is old enough to talk and tell us how he feels. At some point during the night I heard him say "I don't wanna throw up anymore." So sad =(.

Sorry for being so long winded but this week has been quite emotional and I needed to talk about it. Thanks for listening.